The Loose Meat Sandwich.. bon appétite
My dear friend Molly, a resident of Oakland, Calif., recently texted me and asked, “Nick, what is a loose meat sandwich?”
Being as this particular friend is a sommelier, I felt I needed to trim my mullet and give an explanation her refined taste would appreciate.
The Loose Meat Sandwich, known by some as the White Trash Taco, is the original Midwest fast food. Long before the Golden Arches and their famed Dollar Menu filled the humble farm towns and stomachs of the prairie, these crude sandwiches graced countless dinner tables of price conscious families with numerous mouths to feed.
Some may recall the loose meat sandwich’s cameo on the hit television show Roseanne being served at the Lanford Lunch Box. An Emmy-worthy performance if I do say.
The sandwich can be prepared at a moment’s notice with ingredients readily available in nearly every kitchen: ground beef, ketchup/mustard and bread.
Loose meat sandwiches exist predominantly in Iowa, the Dakotas, Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin and Nebraska. Names for the sandwich are as plentiful as roadside sweet corn stands in July. My family referred to these delicacies as “barbecues” until 1998 when we moved from Minnesota to Storm Lake, where in an effort to avoid being bullied on the playground at school we embraced the regional labels of “maid-rite” and “tavern.”
“Sloppy Joe” is a generic title accepted at more locations than American Express. I do not consider “Manwich” to be a loose meat sandwich. Nothing this simple to prepare should come from a can — ever.
As previously stated, most functioning members of society have all the necessary ingredients to whip up a batch of these bad boys readily available in their pantry and fridge at all times. Ease of preparation is undoubtedly the cause for the popularity of the loose meat sandwich.
Variations of the meal are endless. My family flipped between a red version and a green version. The green version is a mustard base with cream of mushroom soup, created by a distant relative of my mother. God only knows the hunger that produced such a vile olive green concoction during the harsh Minnesota winters.
Approximately half of the recipes I’ve encountered contain onions cooked with the meat. My wife’s family dines on a one-off version that has an abundance of ketchup and a handful of plain dry oats tossed in at the end. That particular recipe came from her high school 4-H teacher and her dad liked it, so that’s the one they’ve been hitched to for more than two decades. It’s a forbidden recipe in our house as I refuse to eat it.
The bread or bun is important as it must be plain white — the cheap stuff. Those of us who have had the loose meat sandwich as a part of our diets since birth have gotten fancy on numerous occasions, opting for brioche or potato buns, but ruining dinner in the process. Too much bun and not enough meat make for mediocre maid-rites. Trust me on this one. The most common recipes contain ground beef mixed with a ketchup and a brown sugar base. One would be inclined to think it’s barbecue sauce, but don’t be fooled — only hillbillies do that. It’s a ketchup and/or mustard base of some type. Choice in fat and meat ratio is a personal preference, but anything works as some choose to drain the fat and some do not.
Variations can be as simple as lightly seasoned ground beef on a bun with a squirt of condiments. It should be noted that sauceless variations will crumble to bits during consumption. I prefer a ketchup and brown sugar base with onions and Worcestershire sauce topped with Kraft American cheese and dill pickle slices. It’s delicious. A top five comfort food.
Accompanying my sandwiches, as I usually have two, are plain potato chips the likes of Lay’s in the yellow bag or Ruffles in the blue and white bag. Potato chips serve as a spoon substitute for the morsels that fall on your plate while eating. A tasty remedy to the inevitable. These sandwiches and silverware do not mix.
With titles galore and recipes a plenty, curious diners hoping to adopt a loose meat sandwich into their revolving list of stress-free dinner options must know that trial and error is the only course for success. My suggestion is to simply Google a recipe and make it your own. Experiment at will. The loose meat sandwich will never be the most popular member of the menu, but it’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face whenever they show up unannounced. Don’t be hesitant to prepare a little extra. Maid-rites make for the most excellent of leftovers. If you happen to know a midwesterner, ask for their recipe. My dear friend Molly with exquisite taste did, and the loose meat sandwich gained another fan for life.
